So Much To Do...

Hello again and happy Tuesday, world of slicers! It's been a while. I really do value this community of writers and I miss it when I skip a week or two or twenty.

The past couple of days have been more relaxed, lazy kinds of days. And to feel better about myself, I need to be more productive. I just have to. That has seemed to translate into me watching a movie on Netflix, blogging, clearing off my desk, unpacking my suitcase from my big East Coast trip, doing some laundry, and maybe heading to the park with a book. Only a couple of these things have already come to pass, and I'm not going to tell you which ones.

I guess the conundrum I'm facing now that school is out for the summer and I'm back from my trip is the fact that I have SO many ways (all great ways too) I could spend the rest of my time this summer  and no clue how to efficiently and effectively use that time. How can I balance all of the planning, reading, crafting, adventuring, cleaning, exercising, and socializing I want to do? It's all great. But how do I decide which are the more important items I should place on my days' dockets?

The second part of this conundrum is that I also don't want to feel like I'm so incredibly busy like I do during the school year. The glorious feeling of having more freedom with how to spend my days is something I've been waiting for and it's finally arrived! But how do I keep that freedom (staying away from feeling overwhelmingly "busy") while still accomplishing all I want to do?

Summer will quickly come and go. Like a flash on a camera. I just want to make sure that whatever lasting picture that flash helped to capture is expressive, inspired, and gratifying.

What I Needed

There are so many hard things in life. Of course in varying degrees of hardship. Lately, it's been pretty rough for me, but the kind of rough that's not life or death. The persistent, nagging hardship of the day to day life. Getting this 1st year teacher thing down is even harder than I could've imagined. It's impossible to stay on top of things, and dealing with unappreciative, rude students is just salt in the wounds.

Juggling the four million and one thoughts that go through my mind each day is near impossible, and sometimes I wonder if I can do it. If I've made the right choice.

But then little moments, like what just happened less than an hour ago, occur. I was letting my 2nd period class out, when one student paused for a minute at the door and handed me a note. "This is for you," she said. I took it with a gracious "Thank you!" even though I had no idea what it was. I have my prep period next (now), so I sat down at my desk to read the note once the students had cleared out.

Tears immediately started to well in my eyes as I read the sweet, kind words of this single student. Phrases popped out like "I learn so much in this class," "I honestly wouldn't ask for a different teacher," I think kids my age don't realize the impact teachers have," among other thoughtful words. This cognizant and caring student was observant enough to recognize disrespect for what it's worth. Pain and frustration for both student and teacher.

I share this because this really is a message for all of you teachers out there. If you ever have a day when you feel unappreciated and worthless, like you're spinning your wheels, remember the words of this one student of mine projecting to the whole lot of us. "I think kids my age don't realize the impact teachers have." At least one student has realized that, right? And for now, today, in this moment, that's exactly what I needed to keep going.

A Dose of Enthusiasm

Hello again to the world of bloggers!

It has been over 9 months since I last sliced. Or even blogged for that matter. A whole person could have been created and born in the amount of time I've been missing from the scene. Of course realizing this comes with a twinge of guilt, but what can I say other than "I've been busy?" I know that's not a good excuse. We're all busy, yet most of us bloggers don't stop. I've come to feel even more guilty when I realize this. Not only guilty, but self-deprived.

Only part of this experience is for you, bloggers, and the rest (and probably most important part) is for me. I need to get my words out. It's a release! I'm sure most of you reading this would agree. There's something about writing (and being enthusiastic about it) that can change your whole perception. How you view the world. How you view the little things in your daily life. It's almost like putting my thoughts to paper make them more real to me.

So that's what I came to write about today. I hope to rekindle the spark I once felt for blogging and recommit myself to it, because who cares if I'm busy? We all are. I need this. I've missed it.

I'm reinvigorated today by enthusiasm. It's not always the easiest thing to come by, especially as a teacher waking up early every morning and running off of a pinch of sleep. But today in my earlier classes I tried something that I should be doing every single moment I teach. However, it doesn't always happen. Be enthusiastic. About everything. It's been amazing to see the change in my students today when I just let loose a little bit and belted out School House Rock's Preamble song with them, because, for goodness sake, I love that song and I wanted to! They were probably the most excited about class I've seen in a while. They mirror my enthusiasm, so when they aren't excited really I'm the one to blame. It's at least caused me to think and reevaluate things this morning, including my leave of absence from blogging. So I'm here to say, I'm back. Enthusiasm and all.

Let Sunshine In

This morning I woke up with a swollen eye and a rash all over my arms and neck. Oh, the loveliness of allergy season. At least I hope it's just allergies, probably combined with stress and my predisposition to eczema as well. It's really easy to let something like that take over my day and put me in a funk for all of my waking hours. And it did start off that way today.

Luckily, the weather was beautiful. So I donned shorts and flip flops to head up to campus. That was the first thing to brighten my day, both literally and figuratively. Then my classes were a pleasure to sit through and the time went by so quickly!

I met up with my roommate, H, after class and we walked home exchanging much-needed girl talk. Sometimes it's a wonder what a little chat with a friend can do to your mood.

Now as I sit here, looking at the massive amount of work I still have to do in the next 16 days, I want to cry. 16 more days until I'm done with college classes. 16 more days until I can finally read books that I choose to read. 16 more days until I can get a full night's sleep. 16 more days. But because I let the sunshine in earlier, it's sticking with me for the rest of the day and I hope for the next 16 days as well. I really hope.

Disney Distractions

So I have a slight confession. Two actually. First, I'm a Disney-a-holic. Second, I'm trying really really hard to write a paper right now, but I turned on my Disney Pandora station and I've been sucked in. The attempt was completely innocent at the beginning. I was going to change the station to some light listening (something with no words) so I can start cruising on this research paper. But the first song that came on was "When Will My Life Begin?" from Tangled. If it had been any other song, I would've had the willpower to change it. But no. The universe decided to play that song. So now it's been nearly 30 minutes and I've enjoyed lovely music from Mulan, Enchanted, The Jungle Book, Tarzan, The Little Mermaid, and more Tangled. Argh! And the only things written on my research paper are the lyrics to one of the songs.

I guess there is a third confession. I couldn't even stop at wasting my time with Disney music, but now I'm blogging. Isn't it funny how everything becomes more appealing than writing (especially research paper writing) when it's staring you in the face? I'd even rather do the dishes or sort socks or shuck corn or something else unbelievably monotonous. So now I'll try to pull myself away from the Disney music, which might be easier now that The Lion King's "I Just Can't Wait to Be King" is playing. It's my one shot to break away! Wish me luck.

Thaw

I'm sitting outside in cool air, listening to birds chirp. This morning when I woke up, there was no ice on my windshield and I probably even could have ditched my winter coat for a light jacket. Basically, it is a beautiful day.

I've tried to explain the thing I'm about to say to many people in the past and the only person that has successfully understood me is my best friend, T. There are just certain times of the year (yes, times) that I can feel just as tangibly as I can feel my keyboard right now. One of those times is Halloween. I tell people that it feels like Halloween, and all I usually get is a questioning look. But I promise you it's real to me. Something just changes inside of me and it's like I have internalized the season. This is exactly the same situation for spring.

Today feels like spring, and it's not just because of the literal warmer temperature. The whole atmosphere that I stepped out into today encompasses me and softly whispers that spring is indeed here. I know that there are technically 8 more days until it's official, but my inner gauge tells me differently. So I just thought I'd let you know, even though it could be back to winter tomorrow (cursed indecisive Utah weather). This internal feeling doesn't work like the calendar. It's just as malleable as the environment I'm in. I'm just glad that I can hear the birds again.

Books, Books, Books

As much as I enjoy the advancements in technology that have yielded such innovations as the Kindle, audiobooks, and other e-readers, I still stick to the belief that there is nothing quite like reading a bound book with yellowing pages.

Nearly my whole day has been spent in reading books and I even made a voyage to the library to pick up some more. Being in rooms with book-lined walls made me sit back and think for a minute. Could anyone ever read every single book ever written? Of course not. But it is in the endeavor to try where I believe great minds are built. The library is my own personal labyrinth. It is the place where I treasure hunt. The place where I discover more about myself. The thing that scares me the most is that those opportunities won't exist for the next generation.

I feel like my whole world is wrapped up in my experiences with real, tangible books. Books that I can turn the pages of, smell the musty passed time, literally grasp at their truths. So when those cease to exist, will I? I feel like I will be shoved into the great expanse we call history, even if it happens within my lifetime. Technology is advancing so quickly, sometimes it makes me wonder if the modern world will just pick up and leave me behind, softly humming as I flip through the pages of a majestic book.

“There is something wonderful about a book. We can pick it up. We can heft it. We can read it. We can set it down. We can think of what we have read. It does something for us. We can share great minds, great actions, and great undertakings in the pages of a book.” -Gordon B. Hinckley

Puzzle Pieces

We had a really fantastic writing prompt today in one of my English classes. Found Poetry. Using our phone music playlists, iPod playlists, text messages, or books, we created a poem using only the song titles or phrases from the material we were viewing. I was so impressed with how well this worked and how fun it was. I told my roommate, H, about it when I got home and she wanted to write her own! You know a prompt or assignment is good when you want to go home and work on it more for pure enjoyment!

It really is like taking puzzle pieces (bits of already existing material) and crafting them together in a new way to create your own version of the big puzzle picture. I chose my "Recently Played" playlist on my iPod and I came up with a decent poem, but I tried again when I got home and came up with this:

I learned from you to be surprised.
An ocean of memories, one by one
Lazy days, the way we were,
wishing you were somehow here again.
Only time on my own somewhere
anchor you and I fathoms below.
The truth? I'll be OK
Sunrise, Sunset

I broke up the various song titles with different colors, so you can see how they are all so separate, little puzzle pieces or distant entities, but brought together to create a bigger picture. This is definitely one of the most interesting writing prompts I've ever seen, and it's definitely going in my teaching toolbox.

Pure Bliss

Do you ever have those moments when you are simply over the moon? I got some amazing news this afternoon and every 5 minutes or so, I have another mini realization that this is actually happening. I'll start giggling, chills running up my back. Constantly needing to ask myself if I'm dreaming is definitely a good sign and helps me realize how blessed I am.

I wrote my slice yesterday about recognizing the amazing little things in life. I think that was a great perspective for me to have and helps me appreciate the big things, like what happened today, even more.

Now I'm sitting in my living room, feet kicked up, with Storage Wars humming in the background. Somehow that image is the visual representation of my satisfaction with my situation at the moment. Today was a great day.

Little Things

After waking up this morning to my phone alarm energetically pumping out cutting island tones, I stumbled out of bed to get ready for the day. Monday mornings aren't my favorite thing in the world, but this morning hasn't been so terrible.

The braid in my hair turned out like I wanted it to, I got to wear my favorite scarf, I found a great parking spot on campus, climbing the seemingly mile-high stairs wasn't as laborious today, the professor that I TA for commended my grading efforts for the class's midterm, and now I'm sitting in my favorite building on campus looking out of large windows at an amazing view of snow-glazed mountains emerged in sunlight.

It truly is the little things in life that make it worth living for me. I find more happiness in my life when I learn to pay attention to things like a breeze, a smile, the sound of rain, the smell of new books, and millions of other little miracles that constantly surround me.

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." ~Robert Brault

Self-Prescribed

The past few days have been really rough. I've had papers to write and midterms to take. I've even had to grade a stack of midterms for the class I TA for. (Who knew grading could take upwards of 12 hours?! I guess I should've expected that). So I ended up pulling an almost-all-nighter to grade those on Thursday into Friday and then taking my own midterm later that afternoon, running off of 1 hour of sleep. Finally getting home last night with some dinner, I finished eating and collapsed in bed at 8:00, welcoming a chance to rest.

Unfortunately my body had different plans and I ended up getting sick in the night, which is something I dread almost more than anything. I usually go years between times when I throw up, therefore it terrifies me when it actually happens. So after spending the first morning hours of this day in the bathroom, holding back my hair with tears streaming down my face, I've decided to stay in bed for the rest of the day. Watching the sun peek through the cracks in my blinds, I'm still content holing up in here with a soft bed, pillows, and a stack of unread books. Even with nights like last night, I love days like today.

Forewarning

March may bring with it leprechauns, warmer weather, and basketball but it also brings a project from Two Writing Teachers: the Slice of Life challenge. The goal is to write about a little "slice" of your life and post it every day in the month of March. Already I'm a little behind, but I'm going to try to do it for the rest of the month.

If you haven't noticed, most of my recent posts have had the title Slice of Life: blahblahblah for the same bloggers' Slice of Life Tuesday challenges. So, I'm just posting this right now to warn you all that I'm not going to include that in the titles anymore and you can just all assume that anything I write during this month (and probably after too) will be a slice of my life. Anyway, check out the challenge on Two Writing Teachers blog and join if you'd like! Let the slicing begin.

Slice of Life: Enya

It is an irrefutable fact that when I wake up at 5:00 a.m. and haven't gone to bed until after midnight the night before, I will be loopy for the rest of the day. This week is slowly killing me like...well, some kind of poison that will kill you slowly. (Don't try to Google it. I'm pretty sure, based on the links I discovered, the only other people Googling "poison that kills slowly" are murderers of some sort.) Anyway, my point is that this week is going to drive me crazy with all of the papers, tests, projects, reading, presentations, and grading that needs to get done.

In trying not to drown myself in the prospect that I might not come out in one piece at the end of this week, I decided to engage in one of my favorite pastimes at lunch today. You can call me creepy if you want, but I absolutely love to people watch. And the best place on campus to do that is the collection of brown, covered benches adjacent to the bookstore and facing the library. It's totally prime real estate, with quirky individuals constantly crossing back and forth. So I grabbed my lunch, headed over to the benches, and popped in my headphones as Enya sang floating Irish cadences over a slow synthesized percussion. Enya is the one person I can trust to push all care out of my mind and provide me with a little corner of sanity in my ever-busy life. :)

On a side note, my roommate (H) and I are in the beginning stages of starting up a blog. It's been so much fun coming up with our concept and pseudonyms, but the real beast of this process is coming up with a Blogger web address that isn't already taken. So earlier this morning I engaged in another one of my favorite pastimes: typing in possible URLs straight into the address bar. It actually becomes more of a game for me instead of just searching for the undiscovered URLs. So, just in case you were wondering... picadillycircus.blogspot.com, camerashy.blogspot.com, rainbowsandunicorns.blogspot.com, zipadeedooda.blogspot.com, ilovespongebob.blogspot.com, and canigetawhatwhat.blogspot.com are all taken. I can almost hear the collective sigh of disappointment, because I suspect those are the exact addresses you all hoped to put to use one day. The most frustrating thing is that when you finally think you've come up with the perfect name, you type it into the address bar and you get one of two things. Either it is completely untouched as no one even bothered to post one thing under it or the most recent post occurs anywhere from 2002-2004. Well... let the search continue.

So as I continue on with my day, the mad rush to complete all of my tasks and the mad search for available blog URLs, I will certainly be putting Enya to work, as she does what she does best.

Slice of Life: Valentine

Do you ever have those days where it feels like 30 different days in one? Today was one of those days for me. It went by quickly, yet felt like months had passed. Was it only this morning that I woke up in a nervous frenzy, making sure that I was looking professional for my first teaching interview ever? Oddly, yes. Nerves were definitely the first order of business for the day.

After the interview, I came home to some lovely Valentines posted on our apartment door. There's just something nostalgic about getting a paper Toy Story Valentine with Nerds taped to it, especially when they are anonymous (my roommates and I are still trying to figure out who would have left them). After downing the Nerds, it was reading, lunch, and off to campus.

I jammed out on my walk to campus (thanks iTunes), sat through my 4 hour block of classes and headed home again. Still on the run, I immediately took a friend of mine to the library and we picked up some needed reading fodder. Meeting up with my roommate there, I looked around a little more, grabbed our materials, and continued on the run.

I came home and changed into some casual clothes and started making Valentine's cookies. With just enough time to get the cookies out of the oven, it was time to change my clothes yet again to go out to dinner with my roommates. A Smashburger chocolate shake was my Valentine tonight and that worked perfectly for me!

Now is the first time all day I've been able to calm down my racing mind. Perhaps it was all the outfit changes, but I just felt like I just lived many and many days wrapped up in one. Hopefully tomorrow is a simple and normal day, but with my luck I'll hit the ground running again in the morning.

Slice of Life: Slow Motion

The moment I got home from school today and slowly set my backpack down, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
I've survived another day.

It was getting pretty late by that time, so I decided to whip up some potato soup for dinner. I always have every good intention of morphing into Rachael Ray in the kitchen, but that hasn't successfully happened quite yet.

As soon as I put the soup on, my roommate came out of her room, computer in hand, with a song to show me. She argued that the song, a mellow mix of slow beats, was the perfect slow-motion-running-through-the-airport type of song. I agreed.

We became even more curious about how many good slow motion songs exist, so one of our new goals is to create a massive playlist of only the best. As my roommate started clicking through her songs to find some material for our self-appointed project, I began to act out some slow motion scenes. It's more fun and addicting than you'd think, trust me.

Amused with myself, I asked my roommate to call out some scene ideas and I began to feel like Ryan Stiles or Colin Mochrie from "Whose Line is it Anyway?" I took on the personality of a comedian, not necessarily a good one, but sufficient for my living room and a one person audience. As I acted out a baseball player hitting a home run and a distressed individual realizing they have lost their life fortune gambling, I heard some unusual noises from the stove area. My soup was boiling over and sullying our newly-cleaned stove that I spent hours scrubbing the other night. Luckily, the soup was still salvageable but my dreams of becoming Rachael Ray were dashed. Perhaps my future lies in slow motion improv acting. It's definitely an option if such a thing exists.

Slice of Life: The Soundtrack of My Life

It's like that moment when everything starts to go in slow motion... Now, don't think I'm crazy. I swear to you that it has happened. When I was in the middle of a dance competition once, the host school decided that the floor needed to be so shiny that they waxed it an indefinite number of times. Girls were dropping faster than flies and I happened to be one of them. At the moment before I hit the ground, I could hear some pretty intense "call me to the light" music and everything around me literally started to strobe before my eyes in a weird state of slow motion. I can't make this stuff up.

I began thinking about this incident today as I sat at a computer in the library. There have often been times in my life that I can almost hear the music that should be playing in the background at that particular moment, the soundtrack of my life if you will. These moments sneak up on me. It can occur in a dramatic or exciting moment, but there is no rhyme or reason to it. This morning I sat in the midst of a room full of students in the library, all abuzz with their own lives and situations; however I decided to plug into a state of isolation and erase them. In this case, I was listening to actual music. The music I began playing from the playlist entitled "Finals Study Playlist" from 8tracks.com, which my roommate so kindly got me hooked on, swept over me like a massive wave.

I was working on some basic reading and assignments for one of my classes but I might as well have been embarking on a mission to save the world. I suddenly became like Nicholas Cage in National Treasure and the urgency hit me. The slow ebb and flow of the horns, the piercing staccato of the strings, the ethereal "ahs" of the choir, and the rising rumble of the timpani called me to action.

I worked even more feverishly with the development of the music. As I finished my work, the music tapered off as well. It was time to go to class. I took out my headphones and the ambient noise of the hundreds of students around me began to seep back into my hearing. I smiled to myself, knowing the adventure I had just left behind. It's okay though, because I'll be back to it soon enough. The soundtrack of my life, while interspersed with short periods of silence, continues to play on.

Slice of Life: Supposed Clutter and Junk

One man's trash is certainly another man's treasure. I walk back from classes, my mind in a whirl. I have just spent hours and hours sitting in the same classroom on campus, figuratively sorting through piles and piles of English strategies, books, tools, mechanics, and so on. My brain feverishly continues to sort and organize the information as I walk across a spattering of ice spindling across the cold sidewalk. As I get to my car, my mind still seems cluttered and the headache starts to set in.

Getting home, I decide I need a mental break. I turn on one of my favorite shows. I always enjoy Pawn Stars and American Pickers on the History Channel, but today it will be Storage Wars. Watching "The Collector," "The Young Gun," "The Mogul," and "The Gambler" bid on piles and piles of what seems like junk, realization begins to set in as the headache subsides. There is obvious value, often thousands of dollars of value, sitting in those cluttered piles. All it takes is understanding, time, and work to turn the messy clutter into something of worth. Many would say not to bother. It's too much. It's just junk. But no, the bidders know better and now so do I.

Summertime Update

So, I've realized that I have neglected this blog slightly while I have been focusing more on my other one. I knew it would get confusing to start another one...but it's too much fun! Check it out if you would like. In All Things... It has been fun writing about fashion, music, travel, etc. but I intend to keep this Megna Doodle blog for my own personal thoughts and writings.

So what have I been up to lately? Not much. I did just get back from a fabulous trip to Las Vegas though! It was my first time ever going and although it was quite odd and...interesting, I still REALLY enjoyed it. Our main reason for going was because it was my 21st birthday and I had been dying to go see Donny and Marie's show down there, so I went with my mom. We had a blast, especially at the show. It was just very hard to come back after a vacation. I don't know what it was, maybe the fact that I have a steady, real job now (different than the retail jobs I've had in the past) and I'm getting ready to start school again in a few weeks, but it was extra difficult this time. So I'm even more grateful for my choice of career when I finish school, because being a teacher will open up my summer to the possibility of traveling and I don't know if I could do without it! :)

The best thing I learned from getting over the feeling of being down after coming back to reality was that the gospel is literally always there to uplift me. When I was having tough days this week, I listened to general conference on my iPod. I got through two whole conferences! It was so calming to listen to and I'm grateful for the spirit I felt listening to the words of the prophets.

Other than having a hard time coming back from vacation, I've just been working and making a list of the last few things I want to accomplish before the summer is officially over. Here's what I have so far:

• Revive a thrift store dress (i.e. like Sarah from Wearing It On My Sleeves)
• Finish 3 books (I think I've decided on "The Importance of Being Earnest," "The ABC Murders" and "1776")
• Put together a recipe book
• Go to the Karaoke Cafe with the girls!
• Clean and organize my bedroom
• Listen to online lectures to get ideas for my capstone course paper this fall
• Finish writing the song with Tatiana (Oh, did I mention we're writing a song??? :) It's coming along quite nicely)

So, hopefully the end of this seemingly short summer will be productive and enjoyable! Because school and an overwhelming daily schedule will be here all too soon.

Oh, memories...

So today marked the beginning of some crazy reminiscing that will only grow the further we get into this coming week. My brother will be graduating from high school on Wednesday and I really feel like my graduation was just yesterday. Tonight we went to his seminary graduation and it brought back memories from when I was on the seminary council and seminary graduation committee my senior year. This year's committee had the same adviser that I had and everything (the program, refreshments, graduation plaques, senior gifts) was the same. I really felt like I was getting old because this was all for my little brother. Graduating? What? But yes, I guess soon enough I will be sitting on my porch in a rocking chair telling my grandchildren about the good ole days. :)

{This is an old pic I found that I took on my graduation day! (June 3, 2008) Not the best picture, but that's okay.}

Fashion{able}

So I'm not exactly sure what it is, but today I had the sudden urge to become super involved in fashion. I suddenly wanted to revamp my entire wardrobe and completely dedicate this summer to becoming more fashionable.

It all started with a visit to Plato's Closet. I was with my friend, Edie. And we were talking about our fashion style, because I always tell her if something is so..."Edie." You know how sometimes you can just tell? Well, I can definitely tell when something is her style. After joking about it some, I realized that I wanted to have a style that was so..."Megan." So that is now my quest.

I've been finding and following Mormon fashion blogs and I<3. If you're interested too, check this out.

So now, I really want to go shopping. I want to find great deals on adorable clothes that are totally..."me" and I also really want to buy cheap, ugly clothes and make them beautiful. One of the entries I read today showed the remarkable feat of a girl named Sarah. She bought a dress at a thrift store for an extremely low price and made it adorable. Seriously. Look at it right here.

Anyway, I now have this obsession with classy, fabulous fashion that I can add to my list of changes I'm making this summer. I am beyond excited :)

P.S. It has been raining like crazy here in Utah for the past couple of weeks and it finally stopped (although I love the rain, so I would be fine if it never stopped...). But anyway, now that it is no longer raining I got the sudden urge to get yellow rain boots. Hmmm. I want. They have some for an amazing price at Target, so I will definitely have to check those out.